A Tribute

Yesterday was a dreary gray day & although it was nice to get that little bit of drizzling rain on the grass it didn't do much to improve my spirits. You see, my Grandfather passed away yesterday & it was quite unexpected. I guess I shouldn't really use the term "unexpected" because how many people do you know that live to the great age of 91 & just keep on going & going? But if you knew my Grandfather then you would completely expect him to do just that - he was like the Energizer bunny!

It's crazy how we sometimes feel like some people will just be around forever; in many ways they really will be because they are never truly out of our lives when they are always in our hearts. It is so strange though how sometimes you get that feeling...like when you really miss someone & you think about calling but then you get sidetracked with some other nonsense that really doesn't matter in the scope of things & you just don't get around to making that call & then its too late to make the call because they are gone. The world gives us so many little clues to life, little hints & suggestions that we should follow but we just don't...& even though you've done things in the past to let people know that you love them, it's those tiny little things that you didn't do when you were thinking about it that make you feel like you didn't do enough. I am glad, however, that I did take the opportunity to spend time with my Grandfather while he was here...to just visit with him & hear his stories, to talk about silly things or envision the future, to remember the people we love who are already gone.

I can't help but feel angry that he is gone so soon. I know that sounds hypocritical when I just said how happy I was at having had all the time we did together, but I just feel so devastated that he is gone & so cheated for the dreams we had for the future. It is with such mixed emotions that I write this because I am grateful that he was able to be in his own home & that he went so quickly...I only wish the same for myself someday...I could only wish that for every person I love.

I remember the day that my Father died...my Grandfather was one of the first people to arrive at the house...I was outside on the porch when he drove in & I ran out to the driveway & just hugged him and cried & cried. All of us kids called him "Grandaddy" & I remember thinking at the time that he might be my "Grandaddy" but now he was the only "Daddy" I had left. I guess that is kindof what Grandfathers do...they love you & support you & dote on you & show you off to all their friends, they are there for you to confide in & to look up to and they are proud of even your smallest achievements...most of all they just step in & be there for you when need them. Although they aren't our first Daddies, they know how to be Daddies because they were someone else's Daddy too.

My Grandfather took immense joy in having his family around him. He loved having the little children around & he and I had talked about the day when yet another great-grandchild would be added to the clan...the little boy Ryan & I are expecting in May. My Grandfather's wedding anniversary is April 1st & he always seemed to regard that day with such importance. My Grandmother passed away in 1995 & I know that my Grandfather loved her so much & missed her every day. He would say to me that since the baby couldn't be born on his birthday that maybe it would be born on his anniversary! We imagined him holding that little child & having the baby wear his christening dress at the baptism. It was so important to me that my baby meet the one last great-grandparent in the family that I just never imagined that it wouldn't happen; especially since the day is drawing so near. I know that Grandaddy wasn't as certain that he would still be around to see that day but I guess he figured, like I did, that it sure didn't hurt to imagine the joy of it happening.

I will miss him terribly.

Leaky Nipples!?!?

I bet that title got your attention, eh? LOL. I know, I know, how gross does that sound? But very gross things happen during pregnancy...& then it only gets worse - childbirth, feedings & the subsequent throw-up & other bodily excretions, then they reach puberty...oh my! So, on to more pleasant things...

Ryan & I decided to have date night last Friday. I just happened to look really cute that day when we went to lunch with the girls from his office & we decided that we needed to take advantage of being able to go places without having to make a detailed plan of events first! It won't be long before the baby will be here & we'll have to find babysitters & start scheduling events. We went to the movie 10,000 BC at the Warren in Wichita. I am so easily amused that the idea of going to a "real" theater was a treat in itself! I just get so excited about those cushy seats with the nice little cupholders & the super awesome surround sound...call me star-struck. The movie was pretty good too! The best part was the new knowledge we gained from the experience of seeing a movie in the "big city" (I say laughingly...but it is much bigger than what we used to be close to!) ready for the shocker? Here goes...they have a cafe inside the theater where you can dine or grab take-out to gobble down in front of the big screen! Plus, thanks to Ryan's observant eye...if you pay attention to the end of the snack counter you will find a half a dozen different popcorn flavorings! YES! Isn't that sweet? Gosh, you'd think I was a small town Kansas hick who'd never been to a big theater before...golly gee John Boy! The rest of the experience lies outside under the bulbs of the matinee where you get to see all the city-slickers in their pimped out Escalades ridin' on their 20s with a streak free shine glowing under the lights...then you notice that almost every vehicle in the parking lot is meticulously clean & waxed...and the BMWs & the little Corvettes are parked way far out in the north 40!

~~~~~~~~Here are some new pics...8 months!~~~~~~~~

On Saturday we took a leisurely drive to Great Bend. We headed out in the Jeep (without a map) and decided we'd take a little sightseeing tour (not really a conscious decision but a decision just the same). We figure that as long as we are going west then we'll eventually get there! No big deal. It was really a nice little drive...we saw all sorts of wildlife as we were finding our way. There was this field filled with the most turkeys I have ever seen in one place...at first I wasn't even sure what I was seeing, it looked like a bunch of clods of dirt or something, then I saw all the roosters & realized what it was...wow. Before the day was over we'd seen a bunch of white-tailed deer, some cows, some Canadian geese, some ducks, some dead cats, & lots of other interesting critters!

Ryan & his Dad & some friends went to the river with their Jeeps...he said I should go along for a ride but I told him that was not going to happen since backing out of the driveway in the Jeep is enough to make my back hurt! Of course I HAVE to post the pictures they took (at Ryan's request - this is important stuff you know!) so here goes:

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Time for a break - RG & Kasey playing in the yard...

What a sweet little puppy...

Augh -the tickle monster!!!!

Oh no! Vicious dog attack!?!?

Yeah right...that really looks like a vicious dog!

We celebrated Easter while we were at the in-laws. I wore my new "Get A Baby" necklace that I talked Ryan into buying me (& letting me wear before we have the baby). He bought me a bracelet last September (shortly after we got confirmation about the baby through a home pregnancy test) & when I asked him if it was a congratulations on the pregnancy gift he said, "no its a 'Get A Job' bracelet"! Can you believe how ornery he is?!? So we had the discussion that once the baby is born that it is a Father's first duty to shower the Mother with expensive jewelry to celebrate the event...plus it would help immensely to side track her from thinking about all the pain she just experienced! Of course he says that is just not right & that people don't do that...whatever. I decided that I needed a matching necklace to go with my bracelet (he started it) so while we were in Abilene picking up a couple of gifts for some friends I convinced him that he needed to buy me the necklace & I would consider it my congratulatory gift for having the baby...& let him off the hook from having to buy me something more expensive! Of course, a smart man will realize that it is likely that if I have the kid on or near the expected due date that the next holiday is actually Mother's Day...hmmm, seems like an appropriate gift from Tiffany's is on its way after all!!!! (Hint hint!)

Everything went well at our last doctor visit; we asked if she could give an estimate as to how big she thought the baby might be now & she said she thinks he is probably already weighing in at 5 or 5 1/2 pounds! Looks like the little guy isn't so little anymore! As for me, I am still relishing this easy going pregnancy. I feel so spoiled that everything has been going so well while so many women have such disturbing experiences! Other than some minor glitches (like a few slightly leaky nipple experiences & a slight bit of occasional swelling in my hands & feet recently) I've gotten through this without any serious ailments! I guess Ryan would disagree slightly since I prefer the temperature in the house at about 60 degrees nowadays...I don't know why he's upset about that...just conserving energy! Besides, I'm quite comfortable. I forgot to turn the temperature back up the other night when we went to bed & Ryan was not too excited to get up the next morning! But he always says he sleeps best when the room is nice & cold! Oh well, guess the little heater will be born soon & I'll be hiking the temperature back up to the 80s again (& then Ryan will be complaining about how warm it is in here).

It seems kindof crazy that I've only got about 6 weeks left! D-day will be here before we know it!

Showered With Baby Things

THANK YOU ~ THANK YOU ~ THANK YOU!

I just want to thank everyone for ALL the wonderful gifts & for your presence at the baby shower! It was amazing!

I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were able to make it to the shower & by the number of gifts! Thank you so much! I just wish that there had been more time to visit with everyone...but I guess there never does seem to be enough time for that at those things. At least we all got to share in some darn good carrot cake :) Yummy!

Well, I have to post some pictures...as if you couldn't guess that I would!

Ha ha ha...check this picture out...who said you grow up to be your mother...at least I'm growing up to look like her anyway!

Kasey is wondering if all these gifts are for her & if they are then, "why didn't I get to open them?"

I was organizing all the baby things & I had made a pile of things that needed to be washed & put away (why put off till tomorrow what you can do today, right?) & Kasey decided that she loves all the little clothes just as much as the rest of us do...she can't wait for the baby to get here either!

Moving Moving Moving...

We are finally done moving! Ok, so there are a couple of things we still have to pick up in the garage, but for the most part...we are finally done moving! We got our carpet installed in our basement last week & went to A-town to pick up the rest of our things over the weekend. It is so weird to see our house with nothing in it. But it is good to be done with that & have all our stuff here - at last!

Our Childbirth Education class is as interesting as ever...we talked about c-sections this week...aughhhh! I tell you THAT is one thing I do not want to have to go through! But I will do whatever it takes to make sure we have a healthy baby so if I have to go under the knife, I will. (Oh, but I really hope it doesn't come to that!) We talked with the Dr about all this scary stuff & she says we'll just try to do things naturally & see how it progresses...again, just as long as mom & baby are both safe & healthy - that's the goal. Apparently, if a 16 year-old twit can do it then so can I!

On that note, here are some new pics for you all - 7 months and still counting!

One of the coolest developments in our little world is that Ryan & I are swimming at the Wellness Center now. Yep, I convinced him to let me go with him in my big 'ole maternity swim suit! I told him that I was going to get a suit so I could start going with him (he started swimming to get in shape for a triathlon he's thinking about doing) & at first he didn't say much about it...then I showed him the suit that I ordered...& he said there is NO WAY that he is going to be seen in public with me wearing that! LOL! (I don't have any pictures...I'll have to get some!) He said I should just wear a regular 2 piece suit instead of a maternity tankini...I said that is SO WRONG...people do not want to see this belly sticking out of a bikini! I know that I have things pretty good where this pregnancy body is concerned...no weird stretch marks, no strange crop circles appearing on my stomach, nothing too intense...but I still don't think everyone wants to see my belly protruding abundantly from what is supposed to be a sexy little bikini! Not that I won't eventually expose you all to pictures of my naked belly here on my blog...BEWARE...at some point I am sure I will! Anyway, we went swimming...I use that term loosely...Ryan went swimming & I went floating...he does his laps while I basically just float along on a couple of kickboards & kick my legs...& I'm good moral support to cheer him on. He does some thirty laps and I do about three - ha ha...but it is a lot of fun!

Urban & Underwood Concert

Ryan & I took the baby to his first concert last night!

A few weeks ago we heard that there was going to be a Keith Urban / Carrie Underwood concert at the Kansas Colesium & we thought that would be a good concert to go to, but we didn't look into getting tickets or anything. Then, a friend at Ryan's work had 2 extra tickets so we decided to buy those and go after all!

The concert was great & it was hilarious to feel the baby moving to the music! He gets really busy in the evenings after I eat dinner & from about 9 pm on but at the concert he started kicking around when he heard the music. It didn't seem to matter whether or not the music was very loud or not; mostly he just liked the songs that had a steady beat. He really started moving & kicking around to the song "Faster Car" that Keith Urban sings. I guess that was his favorite!

To Power Wash or Not To Power Wash----That Is The Question

We went to our first childbirth education class last night & boy was it interesting! They just jump right into labor & delivery--first day & everything--we talked about the stages of labor/delivery & breathing techniques and we watched a video. They had us practice the breathing techniques & Ryan got to coach me through the "contractions". We discussed the stages of labor & looked at some diagrams of the baby descending. I have to admit that I was definitely wincing when they talked about the head & shoulders going through!

The video basically covered all the aspects of the labor/delivery - Ryan said he didn't expect the video to be so graphic! I said that as comfortable as I am with my pregnant body that I really don't like looking at other pregnant women - gross. I just don't want to have to wear that stupid hospital gown through the whole ordeal...it looks uncomfortable...I'd rather just be naturally naked! I suppose that once you are at the point of going through the contractions & dealing with the pain of the baby moving through your body then the last thing on your mind is the hospital gown!

Ryan got really freaked out about the baby being all covered in goo after it was born. He said that he preferred they power wash it & suck all the poop out before they hand it over! I said I didn't really care if they wrapped it in a blanket or just stuck it on my chest goo included - I just want to hold that sweet little child next to my skin as soon as he is born! Ryan was definitely disgusted by this idea. I guess we'll just let him hold the baby after it is all squeaky clean!

So there are certainly some scary parts to this whole childbirth thing. I think that at this point Ryan is more concerned about how I am going to get through it all...& I'm more concerned about how he is going to get through it all! I joked with the class after we watched the video that I might have to bring a different "coach" with me next time because I wasn't sure my husband could handle it! Seriously though, I don't think there is much chance of him passing out or anything. I told him that I thought I would be able to handle the whole experience pretty well. I'm tough after all :) I'm not really worried about the pain because I figure it is all worth it in the end...plus, I've been through some pretty horrible physical pain over the last several years & I think that my tolerance level is pretty high at this point. I can't imagine that the pain of the contractions is anywhere close to the pain I experienced going through that miscarriage & the subsequent migraine headache that plagued me constantly for over a year, but I guess I'll find out soon enough. Although, I have to admit that I will certainly be a whimp when they pull out the needles & if they have to do a c-section (scalpels are not my friends) - I haven't exactly gotten over my phobia of steel on flesh! I'm not much of a complainer & I have a tendency to just bear through stuff before I ever ask for assistance...but as RG says, "that could all change when it happens!"

Feet, What Feet?

Well here I go again...not posting anything new for weeks at a time...I've just been too busy livin life & makin life worth livin I guess!

There has been plenty going on in our little corner of the world lately...been getting things updated at our house...got tile installed in the basement bathroom & will have carpet tomorrow! Yea! That means we are going to finally be able to bring all our stuff here from Abilene...maybe the house won't show as well without the furniture in it but we'll be much more comfortable here & that is what matters the most :) We've been spending plenty of time with friends & family which has been great...surprise birthday parties, going to see the kids events, seeing family members who live afar, the guys went to Little Sahara with the 4 wheelers, & just hanging out with friends. It's wonderful to be able to spend time with everyone - we miss you all so much!

Our doctor visits are getting more regular now...every 2 weeks to keep everything in check! All is well on the baby front. We start childbirth education classes tonight so that should be really interesting! I noticed sometime within the last couple of weeks that when I look down I can't see my feet anymore...lol. And tragically, the top of my belly button is starting to press out in a little crimped sort of way :( ugh. Been feeling very well except for some back pain that keeps bothering me. The baby is kicking & is as active as ever. It's hilarious because now you can sometimes see my belly roll when the baby rolls & it forms lumps when he presses against the sides of my tummy!

I had to kick Monty out of bed last week...that is the body pillow that Ryan calls "The Python" (get it; Monty Python). It seems like I just can't quite get in the right sleeping position & every pillow I use seems to be too soft...guess I just need some extra support right now! I could probably bring a 2x4 to bed to cuddle with & meet with some sleeping success...maybe I should try it!

Our baby shower is coming up & I am so excited to get to see everyone! There are so many of you that I haven't seen in what seems like forever & it is going to be great to get to visit with you all :) Here's to seeing you soon!