ain't what she used to be, she ain't what she used to be...
ha ha ha...it looks like I'm
gettin' a belly! This is my attempt at my 4 month self-portrait...
hi
lil baby! glad to see you are starting to make an appearance that looks like something more than the remains of a large lunch :)
since I cut off my head in the baby bump photo I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and get a decent one of me before my face starts filling out like my belly! you'll all notice that the jeans I'm wearing may look a little large...I finally decided to buy new ones to
accommodate the extra inches (still don't know why there aren't really any extra pounds to go along with it - but whatever!) so I figured I'd try on a 27" waist...lol...that just barely fits around my belly! I figured that size was going to be too large! I guess it is a different style of jean than what I had been wearing...anyway, I ended up buying a 29! It gives me an inch or so of growing room...right now I have to cinch em up or let em sag! i was really surprised to find out that I am bigger than I thought. now, if only i could grow a little more so I don't have to keep wearing these jeans rapper style...
I had to add this adorable picture of our other "baby" and her "babies". I think she is excited about becoming a big sister. She hasn't said yet whether she prefers a little brother or a little sister...she just gives us this "I really don't want to share my bedroom" look when we talk about it. Kasey has really been enjoying having her bedroom right next to ours. It used to be that she would sleep on the couch outside our room until she finally went downstairs to her room, then in the mornings she would come up around 6 am & lay outside our door while she wagged her tail either against the metal return vent outside our room or against our bedroom door. Sometimes she would stick her nose under the edge of the door & sniff/snort a couple of times to make sure we knew she was there...just waiting to come in. Since we've moved to the new house she has been sleeping in the bedroom right next to ours...the one that will become the baby's nursery. At first she started coming to our door in the mornings but once she got settled in she began staying in her bed until we came to get her. I don't know very many dogs who get their own bedrooms & full size beds...is that wrong? Nah. She's not spoiled or anything.
So I am still having the tomato cravings...what a time of year for that...middle of Kansas & smack dab in winter without a fresh garden vine tomato to be seen for miles & miles & miles. Go figure, I'll be sick of em by the time they are ready to be picked from the garden again. Oh, and you just can't get good grapes here this time of year either! This is ridiculous...I want fresh fruits & veggies!!!!
For something totally off the subject...I was reading a friends blog yesterday & she was talking about how she has a tendency to live in the past. I was thinking that there was a time when I fell to that dilemma as well. Anymore I do well to live for today...you never know if there will be a tomorrow. Anyway, it got me thinking about life in general & my not so distant past life in the big A-town. I realized just how grateful I am to not be in that place anymore where I dread going to work every day...wondering what kind of physical touching I will have to acrobatically avoid & what kind of sexual comments are coming my way or what new & improved rumor I am involved in. I wonder why I just couldn't admit that no matter what I did to try & change the situation, no matter how much positive attitude I could put out there, that it wasn't really going to make any difference. I just couldn't give up & walk away from the situation when I wasn't the one doing something wrong. I figured that its not my place to leave a job that I am good at just because everyone else is forcing their opinions on me. I guess I'm just too stubborn to give up like that. I understand why women do just close their mouths & quit jobs like that - they aren't worth it anyway. In a way I guess I did just that...in the end I figured that I had better things to do with my time & money than to fight it. Heck, I didn't have to deal with it anymore so why should I continue trying to improve my environment when its no longer mine to have to deal with.
I have realized that I can put up with an intolerable amount of bullshit in my life. Most people would have looked at my situation and thought to themselves, "this is horrible, I am not going to put up with this, I'm getting out." Instead i chose the optimistic side of things & thought to myself, "this isn't so bad, there are way worse things in this world to deal with, I can make a difference." Boy, was I wrong! It is unfortunate that speaking up would only make things worse. Looking back I realize that I should have stood my ground the millionth time I spoke up, the bazillionth time I had a meeting with a manager (or with the owner for cryin out loud)...its just hard to see the reality of a situation sometimes when you are right in the middle of it. I kept thinking that one day I would go to work & there would actually be humans working there instead of animals! Ok, so not all of my co-workers fall into this category, there were the good & the bad (& people who had to put up with just as much as I did) but it is always the horrible ones who make it so miserable for everyone else & leave the lasting impression. Is it really too much to ask for someone to treat others with respect?
Well, in the end I am an improved, stronger, smarter person for all I've been through. And I won't say what those people are...because I'm better than that!
Tomorrow is our 10th wedding anniversary. Enough said.
I think I'll go polish my fingernails.
Here I am! Getting bigger & bigger! Seems kindof strange that I am almost 6 months along now!
I went to the doctor today, not much to report other than that everything is going well :) The baby's heartbeat was 150 beats per minute...still just thur-thumping away! The doc said that I've gained a whole 7 pounds so far...she says that's good. I'm still just gaining & growing! All I have is belly & boobs...I can't imagine how big my belly is going to be when the time finally gets here to have this kid!
